![]() Find that it’s near impossible, and continue to try anyway. Look for spaces to articulate, as frequently and unabashedly as possible, what it means to be a New Yorker. Have a rat run over your foot, and think (almost) nothing of it. Make small talk about what will happen when/if the L train shuts down.Ĭonsider $16 a perfectly fair price to pay for a cocktail consisting of vodka, ice, soda, and mint.įind yourself making baldly obvious excuses not to leave the city ("Come out to the Hamptons with us!" "I. Randomly run into someone you know through six degrees of separation, immediately wish you hadn’t. Lie to a tourist when they ask you for directions and you don’t know the answer.īuy an umbrella from Duane Reade for the 27th time this winter, and watch it break instantly. a first date, cocktail party, or your kid’s parent-teacher conference). Step in poop on the way to something you really shouldn’t bring poop to (e.g. Think nothing of nearly getting hit by a cab.Įlect to wedge yourself between four sets of armpits instead of waiting five minutes for the next train.Īdmit that dollar pizza sucks, and throw out a couple more bucks for a real NY slice at Joe's or Bleecker Street Pizza.īuy liquor from a dude behind bulletproof glass. Pay a bouncer to accept your fake Pennsylvania ID. Trek out to Maspeth, Queens (which has no subway service) to pick up a fucking UPS or FedEx package. Go to happy hour after work and accidentally stay out past 2am. Ride the subway in the summer as your only workout routine. See the sunrise from a bridge through a subway window. Start referring to everything above the Bronx as “upstate.” You flick the light switch only to be courteously greeted by at least one creepy crawly roommate, yet it doesn’t faze you anymore in the slightest. It begins when you roll of bed and walk the entire length of your apartment to the bathroom with only one swift movement. You can grab a slice for a buck at any number of pizza joints. A day in the life of a New Yorker is a normal, typical experience, really. Start referring to the city as “the city.” More billionaires live in New York than any other city in the world, but more than 60,000 people sleep on the streets every night. Shout at a cabbie who honks at you for crossing against the light, or slap a car that cuts you off in the middle of a crosswalk. Know where the nearest public bathroom is, always. Break down sobbing in broad daylight in an utterly public place over a job/SO/friend/literally anything. ![]()
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